11 things never to say to parents of a child with autism (and 11 you should)

We know they mean well. Or at least we hope they do. All of the family, friends, co-workers and even strangers who approach parents of children on the autism spectrum with words that really should never have left their mouths in the first place. Words that often unintentionally hurt or upset family members who are affected by autism.

So, in the spirit of National Autism Awareness Month, some of my friends and clients who have children on the autism spectrum decided to brainstorm a list of statements they wish people would and wouldn’t say.

1. Don’t say: “Is your child an artistic or musical genius? What special gifts does your child have?”

We’ve all seen “Rain Man” and know about the extraordinary artistic and musical gifts that some individuals on the autism spectrum possess. But the truth is that most on the spectrum do not have these gifts. In fact, only about 10 percent have savant qualities.

Do say: “How is your child doing?”

This is what you’d say to the parent of a typical child, right? It’s perfectly acceptable to say this to the parent of a child on the spectrum. They can share with you what’s going on in terms of their child’s treatment and/or educational experience.

2. Don’t say: “You’d never know by looking at her that she has autism! She looks so normal.”

Read more here.

Remote Coaching Helps Parents Deliver Autism Therapies

In a pilot study, researchers have demonstrated the practicality and benefits of using the Internet to teach parents how to use early intervention techniques for autism spectrum disorder (ASD). The program combines live, remote coaching with online learning materials.

The families and researchers communicated using Skype, a free, password-protected, video-conferencing program. First, the researchers used the link to observe the parents and children playing.

Next, the parents completed four self-guided, web-based lessons introducing Reciprocal Imitation Training. RIT encourages imitation through play

At the end of the self-taught portion of the program, the researchers again assessed parent interactions and child behavior through video conferencing. All the parents showed improvements in using RIT techniques, and four of the five children showed improvement in imitation skills.

Read more here.

Autism Science, Birth To Thirteen

One of my sons is autistic. He was diagnosed about a decade ago at age 3 for the symptoms recognized at the time but likely would have been diagnosed earlier given what we know now. Like all autistic people … like most people … he has grown–taller than I, at this point–developed, matured, and changed. And along with him, the way people view and talk and think about autism has changed, as well. In the 10 years since his diagnosis, we’ve gone from hearing “I’m sorry” when we mention having an autistic child to a much more mixed response, one that often is as weighted with curiosity and interest as with sympathy or pity, and that’s a good thing. But there is always room for improvement.

We won’t find one single cause for autism, no matter how much money we throw at trying to do so. Map the last decade of autism research, and you’ll find cul-de-sac after cul-de-sac of dead-end ideas or streets lined with echo chambers reverberating with results from the same groups, saying the same things, tracing the Rube-Goldbergian contraptions built within the framework of their pet hypotheses.

What you won’t find is sufficient mixed-use development of both research into cause and research into support. What you won’t find is enough research that involves asking autistic people themselves about themselves, about what they need, what would support and help them most, what would help them learn and thrive and manage the deficits that come with their condition.

Read more here.

Children of parents in technical jobs at higher risk for autism

Fathers who worked in engineering were two times as likely to have a child with an autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Those who worked in finance were four times more likely and those who worked in health care occupations were six times more likely to have a child on the autism spectrum.

There was no association with a mother’s occupation. However, children who had both parents in technical fields were at a higher risk of having a more severe form of autism.

“Parental occupation could be indicative of autistic-like behaviors and preferences and serve as another factor in a clinician’s diagnosis of a child with suspected autism. Medical students can be taught that this is one of the things to consider,” Dickerson said.

Read more here.