“Our desire not to be rhetorically dehumanized is not a type of hatred or
guilt or stone-throwing,” wrote Ibby Anderson-Grace, an autistic scholar and
advocate. “It is a natural reaction to hearing the type of person you are, or
the type of person your kid is, talked about in ways that seem to suggest not
being or counting as a human person. How do you know Finn won’t read that the
way you and your wife claw at each other is all his fault because he is not
really a person?”
Finn read? The thought had scarcely occurred to me. Not long before, we had
been told that Finn, now 6, had the cognitive age of an 11-month-old child. But
things have changed since I first wrote about Finn; he used to point to an
object he desired, his one concrete method of communication. Now he uses
American Sign Language for music and movie and dog and shoe and food and drink
and up and help and stop and wait and candy. He is beginning to shake his head
for no and nod for yes, and when I look into his eyes I see now that he loves us
as fiercely as we love him. He only rarely bites us anymore, or wraps an angry
hand around his sister’s hair.
So who knows what’s in store?
